Jose Can You See...

When I heard that Jose Canseco was going to be releasing a book, I immediatly began sharpening my crayons in anticipation. So I was more than a little surprised to learn that this book would actually contain, you know, words. More specificly, Canseco details his steroid abuse and claims to have used 'roids with or introduced them to several prominent players, among them: Mark McGwire, Jason Giambi, Pudge Rodriguez, Rafael Palmiero and Juan Gonzalez. While in every case but Giambi's, there's no real proof other than Canseco's word, steroid use would explain a few things, for example, McGwire's massive weight loss since retirement, Gonzalez's constant muscle injuries, Palmiero's inability to sustain an erection without the aid of perscription drugs and Rodriguez's sudden, hormone fueled desire to kiss Ugy Urbina on the lips.

Both players and owners are already going into full spin doctoring mode, calling Canseco any number of names and trying to discredit him, which is odd in itself, since Jose really doesn't have any credibility, and the protests are only helping him, as people are see that Jose has struck a nerve in the baseball establishment. The owners and players really have no one to blame but themselves anyway. Had one side or the other taken a stand against steroids back in the mid-80's and gotten a testing program instituted, it's likely that biggest revelation in Canseco's book would be that he and his twin brother Ozzie are actually the same person.

There's also some discussion over whether McGwire should sue Canseco for libel. I don't see that happening, but what if it did? Remember the Michael Jackson trial (I don't remember which one it was) where the kid was going to testify as to what Jackson's privates looked like? Wouldn't you love to hear Canseco describe in vivid detail the giant boil he noticed on McGwire's ass before he stuck the needle in him? Me neither.